I wish it were that easy

Moving on,
moving away,
passing by,
I'm moving, moving to a new stage of life, a new dimension really... r_r
It's kinda crazy to think that I'm here, to think that I'm surrounded by cute college girls and fantastic roommates... It's kinda crazy to realize that I'm doing this, that I'm taking math 112 and that I'm making breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
That I have to completely rely on my own income for room and board, as well as to keep a full belly.
It's so crazy weird to think how things are changing for me.  How friends are leaving on missions. How the people I knew are getting married.  The people I once new getting in to trouble, or going into the military, or even being hooligans and not doing anything with their lives.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm here and I'm shocked, my mind is scurrying for solid ground because I don't know what to do to myself.
I've had my first piece of drama and guess what it isn't bad... Not like High School drama.
I just dropped it like a rock! Woah! Go me.
No more crying about girls that seem to not understand or friends that yell at you for the dumbest reasons.
My life is just... SO DIFFERENT!
I live here now. In PROVO, Utah.  Away from my family, away from my awesome brother Paul.
Away from so much that I once had. A mom to cook food and a dad to talk to my day about.
I don't think you can understand what growing up is like until you're here. Sitting at a desk writing it down. Sighing because you're sad, but you're so happy.  Sighing because you don't know what to do with yourself but you know it will be great.
Sighing because you know a mission is so far away. Yet only a year away!!! Sighing because in four years I could be married. And sighing because in 10 I could have two kids sitting on my knees.  Sighing because I could be a mechanical engineer or a surgeon sawing away at math problems or body parts.
I'm sighing...
But I wish it were that easy.

<3
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