Whether you know it or not. . .

The title of this blogpost comes from a favorite song of mine,  "happy" by nevershoutnever
You know those people that just make you super happy, and they probably have no clue, well I love them muchly! 我很好愛你。 As the chinese would say, I hope thats correct grammar :)
But basically I've just been thinking about how great I have it, how many great friends I have and what a great past I've had.  Let's be honest I've had a very rough past, the ups and downs of high school drama about took it out of me, but I'm here in college, and I made it this far... So enough with ranting.  Lets talk about you! Yes you!
So there's this kid, back home.  He is super awesome! I really miss his guts because he always had that smile that could cheer anyone up, he is the friendliest person ever!!! xD
So I have this sister on a mission, Jade, yup she's the one.  Ya she's in Thailand right now, and she gets back in 13 days, isn't that crazy? Yea it is!  Well she makes me happy too :)
There's this little, dorky, cute, stud-muffin brother named paul, he's super awesome, and his funny funniness? sure makes me laugh :) oh and it makes me happy.
I have this sister named Sara, and she's just awesome, I'm going over there for breakfast today :)
I have these roommates going on missions they are such great examples! And they make me happy.
Girls are awesome and I appreciate all of the girls that respect themselves and stay modest, thank you :)
I have a friend I haven't seen in months, I miss him dearly, and he should know that I love him muchly.
I have a friend who is always willing to talk to me, when I need to clear my head she'll just take a walk with me, thank you.
I have a friend who I can talk to anything about, do you know how much it means to have someone that close! Especially when you've only known them for a few months? has it even been that long? wow... it almost has :)

My point is I have so many awesome people around me, if I named them all it would take me ages... and I'd probably be an old man by the end of this blog post, and no one wants to see the wrinkly grumpy old me for another 60 years... So we'll wait :)

Love you people!

Love,

Pay

Words

I've decided to start writing stuff again... And when I say write stuff... I mean... Write stuff...

Ya okay, so that probably didn't answer any of your questions... But I've been avoiding the depressing, crazy, vent to you poems... But I miss them too much... So here we go...

I Stood outside the doorway

just waiting for you

you didn't show up

you don't care.

Trying not to have a care in the world

You keep speeding down the freeway

I'm running through the woods.

Trying to catch your confused spirit,

I try to take you with me,

everywhere I go!

You're just scared of me,

But I can't seem to let go.

Fire sets on the stage

where I play the one you love,

but its only acting

and the shows over

and burning down in flames.

Flames of hatred sworn to consume me

things bitter, lost, and torn.

The moment you met me 

you knew I would be thrown right out the door.

Quit your crying

Its over

You caused this disaster

and you know it

I can't come back

You won't let me!

You know I loved you

Yet you hate me!

At least I have them

the ones who love,

the people who care.

I can hope for things

even if they aren't there.

I can hope for love

I can hope for patience.

I can hope for care

I can hope to dare;

Dare to hold someone close

and keep them near

to bring my nose

so close to yours

that you can feel my breath on your cheek

that the tears you cry

are shared with me.  

The woods are dark

and I am lost.

Its like I'm drunk

blurred vision

oh so dizzy.

Its pouring rain now,

the rain turns to Ice.

Your tires are slipping,

you have no grip

your slipping fast.

No ones here to save you!

You left me far behind

I'm stuck and lost,

Your dying in return.

How am I to help you?

I wanted to.

You thought I was worthless,

That my caring was creepy,

that I couldn't be true.

Commitment is scary,

complicated and messy,

tricky and deadly.

To someone like you,

but to me it's being there

for someone you care,

about and want to hold

without any sliver of a doubt.

You cross the double yellow line

bright lights blind you.

I'm lying in a mud pile

crying over you.

Your dead,

I'm gone,

Your hurt,

I'm lost,

It's over,

and theres nothing

I could have done.

Quit your crying

Its over

You caused this disaster

and you know it

I can't come back

You won't let me!

You know I loved you

Yet you hate me!

Extremely rusty...

x_x

Oh well...

<3

Pay

Once upon a tiny college apartment. . .

Once upon a time,
there was a boy, his name was. . . this kid. . . Then he went to college and got all scared and started freaking out because he didn't know how to study.  So, this kid went to classes every day, did his homework, and wrote papers and stuff.  Although that wasn't enough so he decided he would be exceptionally exciting and get a life... A life that involved women, yes women, a tiny college apartment, and insanely insane roommates like my good pal Trevor.  Now before you throw your eyes elsewhere and start gazing at Matt Bomer or Emma Watson (depending on your preference and/or gender) let me get to the exciting part.

This Kid is intense. . . That hasn't happened before... oops r_r
This Kid asked a girl to homecoming! WHAT? Good thing its cheap and his frugality can allow him 12 dollars every not so very often!  This kid decided that his life was pretty good, except he's been eating really lame and not so exciting meals... Like beans... And rice... and tortillas... WOAH!

This Kid became in such dire need of chocolate he wrote a poem about it...

CHOCOLATE

I'm not a girl

& no. I do not hoard it,

don't keep it in my closet,

and maybe some smoke it,

but thats weird.

Chocolate isn't a drug,

it is just my addiction

it's special bunched up love.

My safety blanket,

fake warmth and fictitious hugs,

wins a girl favor.

Can sometimes fix the love,

to cure a broken heart.

Pretty bad addiction?

I know it.

Midnight Craves?

Bet on it.

But I love chocolate

forever.

Bet This Kid sounded like a girl just then. . . He isn't.

Trust me, I know him extremely well v_v 

This Kid felt like a G...

So he went to hip hop club... He felt more like a G

This Kid pretty much is a G!

Deal with it!

Oh and my apartment is TINY! and I really am getting tired of my one roommate telling me to shower... When I just did and then I go hang out with girls and they tell me I smell delicious... I don't really know what thats about...   

  <><>

   V V

How is that for an angry vampire face???

And one more thing... If you ever tell a guy hes intense or that he's freaking you out (depending)... it just means you don't appreciate someone caring about you :)

Then again. . . Why would I spend time with someone like that... I'm honestly just trying to help out you people... And guys if she says that... She really isn't worth it...  Unless you are over crowding her... But flirting and showing you care isn't bad... So go for it :)

This Kid is done talking about himself in 3rd person.

I'm back!

And I'm leaving

<3

.

..

...

....

.....

......

-Pay