Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Life is a Dream

This is just a short story that I wrote during work today, I hope you like it :)

Dark Gloomy fog creeped over the sun-bleached pavement as Mark lay motionless in the gutter.  Shreds of cloth tattered and torn were strewn about his motionless figure in a vain attempt to hold in what was left of his lingering body heat.  His mind was in a state between sleep and consciousness.  Thoughts and memories without number tumbled and blurred through his rotting cerebrum.  Time itself seemed to halt in its miserable path.  Mark's heart pounded slower then death slipping upon a wounded soldier.

Suddenly a crashing wave of warmth flooded over his entire being. Colors twisted, swirled, and combusted into a vivid and beautiful image.  A beautiful woman stood in the shimmering sunlight, golden brown hair radiating brighter then the sun.  Dressed completely in white, glowing as an angel would, a slight breeze ruffled her dress.  As Mark then glanced down he eyed two children holding each of the woman's velvet soft hands.  One boy, blonde hair & gorgeous eyes the color of green emeralds stood on her right hand, a girl with hair just as the woman's and baby blue eyes just like Mark's stood on her left.

Tears of joy blurred Mark's vision; as he wiped them from his face, he grinned an cheek splitting grin.  It was the first time he had seen his family in twenty years.
There stood his wife Carla and their two children Bobby, and Rosa more beautiful then ever.
Bobby grinned, "Welcome home daddy!"
Mark then realized he hadn't fallen asleep, he had just woken up.

2 comments:

julia larsen said...

the ending gave me chills! "life is but a dream..."

Brandon der Blätter said...

Cool idea...before I've only seen protagonists think they're happy in real life but it turns out to be fake.

Nitpicky writing criticism: try to avoid passive voice (is, was, were, are, etc.; "His mind was..."). Try to describe feelings (his state of mind) less directly. This story might be more successful if written from a first person perspective as well.

Also, "lingerie body heat?" (line 3)

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