Win the Lost

You stand a fighting chance

In war thought to be over.

You sit amongst the wounded

Death and brutal murder.

You've seen what has become

Of ones who give up

Giving up on what's to come.

Fight a soldiers fight

Stab straight through the heart

Finish off the life

The one who keeps you in the dark.

Love the ones who've lost

And praise those who have gained

Remember you're a soldier

And in this fight you're never slain.

Pondering Love

Hello,

I decided to make a YouTube channel, and I do not have an idea about what it is that I'll be posting there.  If you have any clever ideas, let me know.  

Now you might be wondering... Payden, why did you make a YouTube channel?

And if you are I shall answer, and that answer is this:

You see, I have opinions.  Opinions should be shared.  I also LOVE people, and I feel like at times people don't get the love they deserve.  I want to start to make a difference, and let everyone know how much they deserve to be loved.  Because no matter how someone seems to be through your eyes, you haven't walked through life in their shoes. 

Now let me be honest, obviously I'm not perfect and I have judged so many people.  And I am not proud of that, but everyone can change and I am working to do so.  In doing this I feel like I can give myself a new start and help others to find, in their own way, love.

For the record, I once was one of those people that put people in this box of They're not good enough or Why do they do that? or That's wrong.  But I now know and realize that I wasn't being good enough and I shouldn't have been doing that and that I was WRONG.  People are people and they all have a chance to be heard.  I am a very religious person, and I am a strong believing member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS, or Mormon) And in being a member I follow certain commandments.  Some of them keep me from doing things the rest of the world seems perfectly acceptable.  And I think its time to start to let those other people know that I still accept them.  

You can't force anyone to believe in what you do, you can only share your message.  But no matter what I want to accept everyone.  Because ultimately that is what Jesus would do and I love him and want to follow his example.  And beyond that I just want to be a good person, that anyone can come to for a hug.  

Now I'm sorry this post has gone on this long, and I would be very surprised to discover anyone making it this far. But I have a few more words to say, and things to go over.

I realize this blog has never really had a specific purpose to it... I've posted poetry, I've vented, I've told stories, and been dramatic.  But will this blog ever have a true specific purpose? The answer is no, because first of in 3 months I'm going to be in Colombia on a Mission for my church and this blog will be updated by my mother and turned into a mission blog.  But also because this blog is a ponderous one and I like to ponder.  So it will always wander through my ponderous thoughts and you will wonder about them. That is that.  

Finally my new YouTube channel has been rightfully titled PonderousPayden (Ponder was taken), and that is how it will remain.  Because I want to ponder this world state of being.  And I want to Ponder love, I want to find it, I want to give it, I want to have it and embrace it.  So if you so desire come on my life Journey.  I have no idea where this journey will take me, but in it I'm going to love and ponder.

So reader, if you've made it this far, come love and ponder with me n_n

love,

me

PS all this stuff above has also led me to change the name of my blog to Ponder :) so now it all matches, and isn't contradictory because if I see life "through his eyes" (this blog's old name) then I'm being biased and that kind of destroys the entire point of this post :)

Broken Belief

You don't have to trust me,

But don't you dare call me a liar!

Don't make up some story

Just because you desire.

I'm true to myself and always will be

Since I'm true to me

True to all of you I also will be.

Without a Genie

You’ve got this problem
It’s rather restrictive

Holding you back

From those deep wishes.

You find the magic lamp

The genie to grant your wishes

But the genie’s trapped

Another master who’s vicious.

Your life will just stay

Just where you don’t want it,

The Genie will not play

No matter with what you taunt it,

Your life is just stuck

Never moving up.

The one working option

No other concoction

The genie the only way

There is not another

He has no sister or brother

Your just stuck this way.

Time turn around,

Walk the other way.

Running Alone: Part III

Part I:
http://ponderouspayden.blogspot.com/2012/04/running-alone.html
Part II:
http://ponderouspayden.blogspot.com/2012/06/running-alone-part-ii.html

My Dear Readers,

I apologize... I have taken much too long to post anything, and May and June were both very sad months with a lack of posting on my part.  My bad.  July is here, which means it's a new month so I can start over again right? SURE!

So what you've all been waiting for (for too long),

Running Alone: Part III


The water seared my skin as if I were on fire.  As my body sank deeper and deeper pressure built and my ears threatened to implode, my lungs were on fire as I tried to hold my breath. Whatever body of water i had been thrown into, it was deep.  My eyelids grew darker and darker as I sank deeper towards my end.  I willed my body to move,  It would not subject to my commands and I felt my mouth open to breathe.  I panicked and willed myself to shut it, to my great surprise it was clenched shut, my eyes opened, my toes and fingers wiggled. I could see a blurry blob of light above the surface and propelled my body towards it.  I must have been about 10 feet from breaking the surface when my chest exploded, my mouth opened and I breathed in what must have been a gallon of water.  All my strength was gone and I began to sink down to my certain death.  I closed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest in attempt to relax in my moment before death.  Rough hands grasped me, they were cold as ice yet firm, and strong; I was being pulled to the surface, someone was saving me. Who? Why? before I could find out I lost my mind as sharp pain filled my chest.

I woke up laying on the shore of a beautiful blue lake, I was clothed in a fresh new clothes.  My many mysterious cuts and burns dressed in bandages.  A fresh meal was set on a tree stump a few feet from me, some kind of bird and a canteen.  I took a swig and soothing cool water relaxed my parched throat. How did I get here? Who saved me? What happened?  As I looked around and asked myself these questions I found no one to answer them.  All I can say is as I look back on my experience as an old frail man with a wife, children, and grandchildren; I have lived a good life.  Thanks to this stranger I lived and will die having lived to the fullest.  I left a note as I left that morning saying thank you, and to this day I know, I was lucky to have survived.  So wherever that stranger went, no-matter what they are doing, my love has always been with them.  They have never been truly running alone.


The End

Thanks for reading my story with a disappointing ending. Not my best work, but none the less, hope you enjoyed it.

Love,
Me