Something Depressing?

Let me make this clear

my heart torn

my gut wrenched

face the fear.

I hate that day

discovering what may,

every moment passes,

hated without love or passion.

I love it,

but I can't.

they ruin it

I collapse

Falling ever so slightly

as if

Slipping over the edge

moving towards

a great and giant

Hole in my life

the emptiness may not show

but every waking moment

the pain that I endure

far beyond what I

Can assure you'll ever know

what's missing is there

you're  too blind to see what's coming;

What's already here

that train that never left,

you waited.

I knew It was there, 

I waited for you to come

but you didn't understand

that my heart

Couldn't bear the

blade so dull,

It tore through flesh

as if it was

Meant to mangle

not nearly damage

break something

so beyond repair.

You wouldn't understand

would you?

could you?

I can't,

Tell you the the things inside

the fire destroying every last 

bitter memories

blown out by the wind

into my mind.

What I can't see that you can

the hardship you gave

why you did it

tell me.

I hate it that I love you

and you hate my love for you

and I hate that I could tell

the things I shouldn't share

I destroyed it on my own.

Blaming things

upon an unnecessary throne,

one that had no king,

more a guillotine

a bloodied throat
thrown down,

to cut,

to bash,

to spill the blood,

the hearts last wish.

A false hope

Glimmered in the reflection

of the blood shed

from the throne of that

King so innocent 

that blood was meant

for someone else

someone who

Understood the consequence

who brought it unto me 

and threw the candle into the dark

darkening my day

and sickly twisting

the demented night

of a lost soul.

I wouldn't gain understanding,

Because you destroyed me.

The train is leaving.

But all that will be on it.

Is a dead body

of the soul you left there.